John Lennon, the peace-loving song poet, martyred in death, abandoned his first wife, treated his son with contempt and in a 1980 interview shortly before his death admitted to slapping women-“any woman.”.Steve Jobs, an iconic and beloved visionary, was also mean, rude, and had no record of giving to charity.We’ve dealt with cognitive dissonance before: Turns out that kind of dualism is rarely helpful. When both sides shine at the same time, like a sparkling coin that inexplicably landed on its edge, it creates a sense of cognitive dissonance and our minds begin to reflexively seek resolution one way or the other. Sometimes humans do incredibly ugly things. Sometimes humans do amazingly beautiful things. So, which is it? As uncomfortable as it is, the answer is… it’s both. By all accounts, he seems like a terrible lama. His response has been straight out of the misogyny handbook: blame the victims, deny the reality of it, minimize the feelings of everyone involved, and mumble a half-apology that he knows better now and there are new rules in place so it’s not a big deal. On July 30, 2020, writer Joshua Eaton’s article from Religious News Service was published detailing a history of sexual misconduct allegations against Lama Surya Das that ranged from the revelation he had an affair with a student that become public in 2008, to a series of women who brought complaints of his sexual advances to his center board in 2019. It wasn’t the most groundbreaking talk I’d ever heard, but I remember thinking it was a nice night. He seemed a little cranky and older than his promo picture, but spoke with great affection about his family, his grief, and the ways he talks to people who are dying. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”Ĭharles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities A few weeks ago, Lama Surya Das, who is known by such lauded names as “The American Lama,” “The Jolly Lama,” and a “Dzogchen Master Teacher” spoke at an event I attended about death and dying. The teacher has a responsibility to operate within healthy boundaries, and the student should be guided by them as well. It doesn’t matter if she believed him when he said it would be the road to enlightenment. It doesn’t matter if she thought it would make her feel special. It doesn’t matter if the student wore a sexy dress to sangha or invited the guru to her hotel room. Without the perceived freedom of self-determinacy, consent is not occurring. There is a power differential between teacher and student that limits a student’s ability to respond honestly without fearing rejection or consequence.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |